Life experiences are not linear
A few years ago in my organisation, I worked on a proposal to structure some of our work differently.
The logic was simple. Bring a few related upstream activities closer together, use centralisation better, and create economies of scale. The activities complemented each other. It did not need a major capability shift. Just a small change in decision mandate and how we operated.
To me, it made sense.
But when I presented the idea, it was rejected.
At that time, the organisation was doing extremely well. We had just posted our best few quarterly results. So, the question from senior management was also fair.
Why change something that is working?
But then, very recently, I presented same idea but, this time, it was acknowledged, appreciated and implemented.
So, what changed?
Not the logic of the idea, or the people who were taking the decision.
The context changed.
That is where I realized that many time, effort, logic and good intent do not always move things by themselves.
And that is what makes life experiences non-linear.
The same effort can fail in one context and work in another, with no fault of yours.
Rationality has limits
Most of us especially, in our country, are conditioned to be rational.
Do the right thing. Prepare well. Make a good case. Be reasonable. Stay consistent. Hard work always pays.
And much of the time, this does.
But it does not always guarantee the desired outcome.
Because outcomes are never shaped by one thing alone. Timing, visibility, pressure, mood, relationships, risk appetite, convenience, and sometimes pure randomness are also at play.
This is a harsh reality which is difficult to accept.
Is this politics, or how things operate
A friend recently went through a title realignment in her organisation. The organisation structure changed, and most of her peers moved up and were benefitted by the change.
She did not.
Her area was relatively smaller, so her case did not move the same way.
What hurt her was not just the missed title, but the feeling that others were given the benefit of the change, while she now had to prove her capability again.
Same capability. Different seat. Different outcome.
Hard to accept, but it is as real as it could be.
Many times, the timing around the decision matters more than person in the decision.
We see this in organisations, careers, business, public life, even relationships.
There are always more variables than we can see from where we stand.
Even leadership has limits
As leaders, we believe we can make things fair.
We create criteria. We review facts. We calibrate. We discuss performance. We try to make decisions look rational, balanced, and explainable.
And we should.
But the truth is that fairness is not the only thing behind a decision.
There are always constraints, timing, trade-offs, perceptions, structure, pressure and priorities sitting around a decision. Sometimes many decisions are purely taken out of convenience.
So even when the best intent, we might be perceived as unfair.
And the nuance is to accept this without becoming defensive.
And to stay aware that leadership needs humility about how much we really control.
What you do next is your choice
Things will feel unfair. And, sometimes they are.
But then what?
You can start becoming bitter, or cynical. You can begin to see every decision as unfair, every person as political, every outcome as fixed.
I have been there myself. It starts with self-doubt first. And then, if not handled well, it starts drifting towards complaining.
It all feels logical in that moment.
But over time, it does something to you.
You become guarded. You stop trying with the same openness. You start reading too much into everything.
It makes you feel smaller.
I am learning to understand the game without becoming the game
I am trying to understand how things work without becoming bitter about it. That means acknowledging that effort matters, but effort alone is not enough.
It means seeing timing, context, visibility and influence as part of life, not as personal injustice every time.
It means putting my head down, doing the work, staying grounded, and not giving every disappointment the power to change who I become.
Some days this works. Some days it doesn’t.
Peace is also a choice
Many times, peace is not an outcome of a resolve.
It is something you choose to have.
You choose not to chase every explanation, or fight every perception, or carry every disappointment with you.
And you don’t do it because you are weak, or you agree with what happened.
But because every battle out there is not yours to take.
You have to choose your clarity over confusion, wellbeing over bitterness and your ability to move forward over the need to prove a point.
You cannot let one outcome own your mind for too long.
Maybe that is what kindness and self-love means
This is what I meant by ‘Life is not fair. But God is kind’.
That life balances things over time.
You lose something. You get something. You miss something. You learn something.
You become wiser, and you stop chasing few things, and start valuing others.
And slowly, what felt unfair does not always remain the whole story.
Honestly, I don’t have a clean answer.
I am only learning that being rational is useful, but not enough.
You also need perspective.
And, a little patience.
And the ability to move on.
Easier said than done. But maybe that is the work.
Long way to go…..
Written by Vibhor Jain © 2026 | Originally published at mindspringlife.com